Alongside the tracks
What would he be wearing?
Last piece of the great puzzle
I found it on the road
His hands were red
We painted them white
Road signs are in English
I regained my balance
Made the kill
New things can emerge and grow
Make my own conversions
The firefly accepts its life
Turned toward the window
The true ordinary mind
Any new invention
Was not worth it, she said
If i passed i’d advance
Our hands were red
We painted them white
How did this happen?
Where did they go?
We passed the fruits around
The next gust of wind
It’s that simple
Aesthetics of the art
Just a glint in the dark
During the famine
After reading the comics
The true ordinary mind
Put them into an envelope
The bed was empty
Tiny footprints in the ash
Where did they go?
Our relationship to fire
What happened to your bow?
It is that simple
Every night in the barracks
He worried about his father
She remembered to write
Ancient stars in our eyes
The fire pits of Neandrathals
The firefly accepts its life
She tossed the rope down
Come on over
The way she was dancing
We were looking at the stars
A lone coyote in the hills
The firefly accepts its life
Make my own conversions
The last bag of sugar
The dream shadow of impermanence
Hot casseroles out of ovens
Standing in line at the movies
But is power listening?
Let’s say that I was there
We used to dream of home
Figures moving behind curtains
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
The burning down of his house
We were from the same city
He said he was fine
That’s a nice scarf
That is what she would do
Tiny machines on the table
Never go out there again
Something about strawberries
Wood smoke, oranges or rain
What happened to your smile?
Stack of dead batteries
A firefly accepts its life
The light illuminated everything
Laughing at something
Handful of oil executives
There was no other building
She remembered the candy
People started blaming magic
While I weeded the fields
She called her dog Lotus
The light illuminated everything
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
This tiny expression of gentleness
She would meander guilelessly
She sat down in the front section
Our back against the wood
The cricket’s rhythm beats
I get all the birds you kill
Blacked out by censors
Virtually nothing left to lose
Galvanized by repression
For most people it happens
A gap, a crack of space
What if he goes far away
That rock becomes our teacher
Last piece to the great puzzle
We received your letter
Between me and the hills
Tiny sentient seed beings
Now the wind above the rooftops
This made me laugh
In front of the bathroom mirror
What needs to be destroyed
In our delirium
That rock becomes our teacher
The light illuminated everything
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
For those who want to deep-dive into “The last piece (a kind of New Years poem)”, here is my stanza by stanza interpretation. This is a sand-blasted poem meaning it did not come from me exclusively. I have explained my process for writing sand-blasted poetry is to pick fragments of sentences from books in my library which I then Ilst and shuffle and then arrange into stanzas which I do not mess with except to juxtapose certain themes and repeat certain lines to serve as echoes. So, my interpretation is only one interpretation. It is like interpreting a dream. When a dream is interpreted by, say, four people, the interpretations will most likely be similar but not identical. I have a dream group where, after listening to the dream as a group, we take turns “borrowing” the dream to walk through it as if it was our dream. When we share our own versions of the original dream, we wind up with different stories because different things stand out for each of us. You may agree with my interpretation or you may take it in a different direction.
The last piece ( a kind of New Years poem)
Stanzas 1 and 2:
1
Alongside the tracks
What would he be wearing?
Last piece of the great puzzle
2
I found it on the road
His hands were red
We painted them white
Tracks represent one-track, linear thinking or the linear mindset. This mindset might be good at problem solving but the “puzzle” that needs solving these days requires a non-linear mindset. So what would “he” be wearing, the one who walks the tracks?. The question is rhetorical. It is an invitation into a poem that is written like a nonlinear puzzle. The poet, who may or may not be the one who walks “alongside the tracks” is saying he found the “last piece” of the great puzzle on the road. His “hands were red” implies that “he”, perhaps the one walking the tracks, was involved in a violent act. We “painted them white” means we are covering the evidence. White = a pass, a cover-up, whitewashing.
Stanzas 3 and 4:
3
Road signs are in English
I regained my balance
Made the kill
4
New things can emerge and grow
Make my own conversions
The firefly accepts its life
“Road signs are in English” means this reality is mono-cultural. The poet regains his balance (within this culture) by “making the kill”. Kill echoes the violent red hands in the second stanza of the man following the tracks but the inference is, this “kill” is not a red-handed kill but a balanced kill, perhaps of an animal, for food. Now that balance is restored, “new things can emerge”. The poet can make his “own conversions”. Conversion = the process of changing or causing something to change from one form to another. Perhaps this means converting to a nonlinear, more balanced way or reality. The last line of stanza 4, “the firefly accepts its life” is a line that is repeated several times throughout the poem. The firefly is a creature of light. Light = consciousness. The firefly is the, let’s say, the avatar, of the poet. The firefly represents the poet. The poet is autonomous. The poet brings light.
Stanzas 5 and 6:
5
Turned toward the window
The true ordinary mind
Any new invention
6
Was not worth it, she said
If i passed I’d advance
Our hands were red
The “true ordinary mind” turned toward the window, is inside, meaning it occupies a limited psychic space. It might be inventive, but whatever it invents is not what is needed, It is or was “not worth it”. (For example, is the invention of electric cars going to alleviate or mitigate the effects of climate change?) “She” is the one who is not stuck in the linear mindset or mono-culture. “If I passed I’d advance” expresses the linear, Darwinian mindset, that hard work and pulling one’s weight and striving to advance in one’s job or career is a worthy ethic, but “our hands are red”. It is this thinking,linear, Darwinain thinking that throws us off balance, and results in red-handed violence.
Stanzas 7 and 8:
7
We painted them white
How did this happen?
Where did they go?
8
We passed the fruits around
The next gust of wind
It’s that simple
“We painted them white” = we lived as if “passing” and “advancing” was the whole point of life, but, it was a violent way of life. There were casualties. Maybe cultures were wiped out, maybe animals went extinct or suffered. We painted our hands white = we covered up. The question is asked, “How did this happen?” In other words, How was this allowed to happen? “We passed the fruits around” is saying, we, with the white-painted hands, passed the fruits around to our own. But now the wind is moving, gusting. “It’s that simple”. The wind is the quickening non-human spirit of Nature. It moves around us and with or without us. It can move us or remove us, it reflects the eternal moods of Nature. It’s “simple” in the way that the elements of Nature are uncomplicated, unaffected or uninfluenced by the “aesthetics of art”.
Stanzas 9 and 10:
9
Aesthetics of the art
Just a glint in the dark
During the famine
10
After reading the comics
The true ordinary mind
Put them into an envelope
We, on the other hand, we, in our ordinary minds, might read a comic while there is a famine, somewhere. Often we read about a famine or a war somewhere in the world, but as long as we aren’t in crisis ourselves, we read the newspaper, we read the comics, we go about our lives without much consciousness, “just a glint in the dark”. What is the “true ordinary mind” / “putting in the envelope”? The idea here is that the ordinary mind files things away. Out of sight out of mind.
Stanzas 11 and 12:
11
The bed was empty
Tiny footprints in the ash
Where did they go?
12
Our relationship to fire
What happened to your bow?
It is that simple
The bed is empty. Who isn’t there? The “Tiny footprints in the ash remind me of a Native American custom I read about, of burning everything that the deceased left behind so that the spirit has nothing to hold it back from crossing. After the flames have consumed everything, maybe the next morning, the ashes are inspected. If there are no footprints in the ashes, it is safe to assume the soul has moved on. But in this stanza “where did they go?” refers to those who lived here before us. Or where did our ancestors go, and the knowledge of how to live in balance, how to work with fire, how to make the kill? The poem is saying, there was a time when things were simpler and we knew these things.
Stanzas 13 and 14:
13
Every night in the barracks
He worried about his father
She remembered to write
14
Ancient stars in our eyes
The fire pits of Neandrathals
The firefly accepts its life
Now who I’ve been calling the poet (protagonist, subject) is in a barracks, a building or group of buildings used to house laborers, prisoners or soldiers in austere conditions. A barracks would be the opposite of “home”. He is worried about his father. To me this means that “the father”, or the loving, caring, perhaps protective father or a caring father-figure, is missing. But “she”, perhaps a lover, a sister or his mother, remembers to write. Stanza 14 jumps to the image of “ancient stars in our eyes”. This image begins to answer “where did they go?”, or where did our ancient knowledge go? (how to live in balance). There are “ancient stars in our eyes”. The father, the protagonist’s father, is weak or sick, but the protagonist / poet is connected to the woman (who remembers to write) and to the “ancient stars”. And to the fire pits of the Neadrathals, an extinct species of human that lived in ice-age Europe between c. 120,000 – 35,000 years ago. They stand-in for what we picture as true “cavemen”. They hunted megafauna like the mastodon and the sabertooth tiger and giant sloth using stone-weapons. We imagine them as being everything that we are not – self-sufficient, merged with nature, suited in every way to survive in a menacing and harsh environment where one mistake or misstep might mean death, but they lived in exquisite balance with the elements. Here again is the line “The firefly accepts its life”. Maybe the firefly is the “glint in the dark” of stanza 9. But it is also (quoting the interpretation for stanza 4) “a creature of light”. Light = consciousness. Again, the firefly is the avatar, of the poet. The firefly represents the poet as an autonomous bringer of light.
Stanzas 15 and 16:
15
She tossed the rope down
Come on over
The way she was dancing
16
We were looking at the stars
A lone coyote in the hills
The firefly accepts its life
Now the woman (the feminine), is the rescuer, the one with the life-line. She tosses the rope “down” and invites the protagonist / poet to “come on over”. In the third line of stanza 15 she is dancing, and maybe the poet is dancing with her. “We are looking at the stars”. The lone coyote in the hills is ambiguous. For me it underscores how, even though the protagonist is dancing with the woman, he remains alone or autonomous. He is still the firefly.
Stanzas 17 and 18:
17
Make my own conversions
The last bag of sugar
The dream shadow of impermanence
18
Hot casseroles out of ovens
Standing in line at the movies
But is power listening?
In the first line of 17 he even says, “I make my own conversions. The last bag of sugar means there is no more sweetness left in the world. In the book Iron and Silk (Salzman) the protagonist is advised by his sensei to learn to “taste bitter” or he won’t progress to the next level. I think this helps explain some of the meaning here. There is a lot of bitter in the world and the protagonist would do well to taste it, assimilate it, not sugar-coat it. The “dream shadow of impermanence” is a fascinating phrase to me. The shadow of impermanence would be the projection or illusion of permanence, just as the shadow of sweet would be bitter. “Hot casseroles out of the oven” in a world that is so out of balance is suspect for me, surreal. The next line confirms this suspicion. We are “standing in line at the movies”. Maybe we are waiting to see “Hunger Games”. The last line of stanza 18 asks: “But is power listening?” I think that the answer to that is obvious: No.
Stanzas 19 and 20:
19
Let’s say that I was there
We used to dream of home
Figures moving behind curtains
20
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
The burning down of his house
We were from the same city
The poem takes a personal turn, but the adverb includes all of us: “We used to dream of home”. If we read between the lines, the question is implicit. Why don’t we dream of home anymore. Why is it just “figures moving behind curtains”? Now the other line that is repeated comes up: “Climbed into the nkhase tree”. I couldn’t find out anything about the (African) Nkhaze tree except that it has thick, thorny branches and its sap can be harmful to the eyes. So we might see it as protective of the one who is sitting in it. Maybe the protagonist is climbing it because he is escaping danger. His house is burning down. The line “we were from the same city” signals another jump, the way a dream jumps to another scene, unless “we” refers to another person who is in the safe space of the Nkhaze tree.
Stanzas 21 and 22:
21
He said he was fine
That’s a nice scarf
That is what she would do
22
Tiny machines on the table
Never go out there again
Something about strawberries
The conversation is light: “He said he was fine.” Someone says, “That’s a nice scarf”. For me I am back to the first stanza: “What would he be wearing?” referring the man “alongside the tracks”, the one with the red hands. (Is he the alter ego of the protagonist? Personally I want to know if the white paint that we painted his red hands with has worn off yet.) I am thinking that (stanza 2 and 3:) the “Last piece of the great puzzle / I found it on the road” is not the answer to What was the man alongside the tracks wearing?, but, rather, the last piece of the puzzle is this whole poem which seems to be composed of fractals, and really the whole poem is fractal. (It doesn’t have to end; it could be infinite.) Line 3, stanza 21, “that is what she would do”. I want to know What is what she would do? There are “tiny machines on the table”. Are those our indispensable devices, our phones, our laptops, our computers? “Never go out there again” underscores how the world “out there” is a dangerous place. Nowhere is safe except maybe in the Nkhaze tree. “Something about strawberries” seems to be the first word in a list of what is “out there”:
Stanzas 23 and 24:
23
Wood smoke, oranges or rain
What happened to your smile?
Stack of dead batteries
24
A firefly accepts its life
The light illuminated everything
Laughing at something
. . .”wood smoke, oranges, rain.” The question: “What happened to your smile” fits with the idea that the world is bitter and dangerous, too dangerous to go out. (Maybe the strawberries and oranges are Round-up ready and laced with glyphosate.) But the danger is creeping into our space. If our batteries are dead, then we lose power, the internet goes down. Where do we find our balance, or grounding? Now the line “A firefly accepts its life” is repeated. But now the little glint of the fireflies light is magnified to illuminate everything. With the expansion of the firefly’s light there is a return to “lightness”. We can laugh at something.
Stanza 25 and 26:
25
Handful of oil executives
There was no other building
She remembered the candy
26
People started blaming magic
While I weeded the fields
She called her dog Lotus
. . .And what we are laughing at is a “handful of oil executives. “There was no other building” means, there is no mistaking it – We’ve got them where we want them, to laugh at, to mock, to find guilty. The woman “remembers the candy”. She remembers the sweetness, now that we can laugh. I picture us dancing, with the stars in our eyes, knowing how to taste bitter and taste sweet. But “people” started “blaming magic” points to a problem. The protagonist and the woman are making their own conversions (possibily into light beings), but “people” are still in the dark, “blaming magic”, while I “weeded the fields”. “Weeding” = clearing space for food-plants to grow. I love the line: “ She called her dog Lotus”. Lotus = strength, resilience and rebirth. The luminus lotus grows out of the black silt.
Stanzas 27 and 28:
27
The light illuminated everything
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
This tiny expression of gentleness
28
She would meander guilelessly
She sat down in the front section
Our back against the wood
Now everything is illuminated. We are back in the Nkhaze tree, which is thorny and poisonous but not to the one it is protecting. To whom it is protecting, it is gentle. Now, for her (whoever “she” is, the anima?) the world is a life-affirming place were she can “meander guilelessly”. Let’s say she winds up at a theater, i.e., in the “front section”. Is it a movie theater? A dance theater? A musical theater? The protagonist is with her, “our back to the wood”. I think this means, the woods has our back.
Stanzas 29 and 30:
29
The cricket’s rhythm beats
I get all the birds you kill
Blacked out by censors
30
Virtually nothing left to lose
Galvanized by repression
For most people it happens
“The cricket’s rhythm beats” is a reference to the pulsing rhythm of insects at dusk in the country. The insects sing, sometimes loudly when “all is well”. If there is a disturbance or a loud sound, they grow silent. But the poem makes an ominous curve here, with the statement: “I get all the birds you kill”. When the protagonist said, “I make the kill” in the beginning of the poem, that was interpreted as a return to the balanced old ways of our ancestors, but this kill of the birds doesn’t sound balanced. This is followed by “Blacked out by censors” and “nothing left to lose” and “galvanized by repression”. These lines signify a dramatic down-turn. The line: “For most people it happens”. I think this means that the poem wants us to remember that even though the protagonist is shining his light and that this light is magnified and there is a feminine character with whom he shares it and with whom he is able to lighten-up, for “most people”. . .
Stanzas 31 and 32:
31
A gap, a crack of space
What if he goes far away
That rock becomes our teacher
32
Last piece to the great puzzle
We received your letter
Between me and the hills
. . .there is a “gap, a crack of space”. The poem asks, what if “he”, the protagonists goes “far away”? Then “that rock becomes our teacher”. We are almost at the end of the poem now, and the “last piece of the puzzle” is mentioned again. This time the last piece is associated with having “received your letter”. Is this the letter from the woman “who remembers to write” to the man in the barracks who is “worried about his father”? The last line of stanza 32 seems to anticipate the first line in stanza 33.
Stanza 33 and 34:
33
Tiny sentient seed beings
Now the wind above the rooftops
This made me laugh
34
In front of the bathroom mirror
What needs to be destroyed
In our delirium
This is my favorite stanza in the poem. “Tiny sentient seed beings” blowing in the “wind above the rooftops / made me laugh”. And it would seem that the protagonist is laughing “in the bathroom mirror” to or at himself. He is shining his light on himself. He is “seeing himself” and likes what he sees. He accepts what he sees. “What needs to be destroyed” when one is seeing oneself, truly seeing oneself, in the mirror could be referring to our false selves, maybe our alter egos need to be destroyed..
Last stanza:
35
That rock becomes our teacher
The light illuminated everything
Climbed into the nkhaze tree
This stanza is composed of three repeated lines and for me all three are luminous: “That rock becomes our teacher.” This means, nature becomes our teacher, but the rock is one of the oldest beings, our oldest ancestors, so its wisdom hearkens back to the beginning of time. “The light illuminated everything”: The light is spreading indiscriminately to the world. Now it isn’t just the light of the firefly-poet, but the light that illuminates the “delirium” of the tiny light of the poet-protagonist. “Climbed into the nkhaze tree.” In the Nkhaze tree, we can find sanctuary. We are safe. I suggested that this (or any) sand-blasted poem is fractal and could be infinite. By grouping three repeated lines together for the final stanza I am artificially ending it. That is the only stanza where all three lines are there by intention.
………….
Books and Periodical used:
Haiku mind Patricia Donegan
The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind William Kamkwamba
When the Emperor was Divine Julie Otsuka
The Drift: Issue Eleven / Fall 2023
Gary Lindorff - Nine Waves 